Sudrian Sketches
Written by: The Knapford Stationmaster Narrator: It was a bright and sunny day on the Island of Sodor. The Steam, uh, I mean all the engines were resting in Tidmouth Sheds and The Fat Controller had a special for Thomas. Thomas: Tell me something I don't know. Narrator: Well, did you know that Hiroshi Hoketsu (gets cut off by Thomas) Thomas: I don't care about Hiroshi Hoketsu! Percy: Oh, you may have struck a nerve with some people. Thomas: Well, I don't care about that either. Sir Topham Hatt: Ahem, Thomas. Thomas: What is it Fatface? Duck: (puffs by the sheds) Sir Topham Hatt to you! James: Shut up captain fan service! Sir Topham Hatt: Silence! I'm running a railway, not a circus! Edward: I honestly couldn't tell sir. Sir Topham Hatt: Anyways, Thomas, i need you to go to Brendam Docks and collect some fish. Thomas: May I ask why this is so important that i have to abandon my usual duties? Sir Topham Hatt: Because you're the main character, let Percy take Annie and Clarabel, i don't care. Narrator: Thomas scoffed and went to collect his cargo. Percy: Welp, see ya later guys. I've got a date with the ladies. James: Blockhead, oh wait, that's Toby. Edward: (gives James the stink eye) James: Get it? Cause he's sqaure? Holy Sigrid, that joke was awful! Edward: Well, at least you're self aware James. Narrator: Meanwhile, Annie and Clarabel were waiting impatiently for Thomas to arrive. Annie: Where in the world is Thomas? Clarabel: How should I know? You see him way more than I do. Percy: Helloooo ladies! Annie: Oh crud, it's him. Percy: I'm gonna be taking you two on a wild ride. Clarabel: That sounds really dumb. Percy: Pfft, oh yeah? Well so do you. Narrator: Annie and Clarabel were highly offended! Percy: Heh, coaches. (Cuts to Brendam Docks) Narrator: Thomas puffed into Brendam Docks, he was suprised to see what his load was. Thomas: Cranky, what is this? Cranky: A singular fish on a flatbed. Thomas: I see that, I'm just wondering WHY A SINGULAR FISH ON A FLATBED WAS SOOOO IMPORTANT I HAD TO ABANDON MY REGULAR DUTIES!? Salty: Oh yee don't be understanding Thomas me harty, that fish 'as been eatin' by at least a hundred people & they all died after takin' a single bite! Hardee dardee yardee abry's! Thomas: Salty, shut up. Cranky: You better be careful Thomas, don't go too fast, or the fish may slide off the flatbed. Thomas: (puffing away) Thanks for the tip! Narrator: Later on, Thomas was chuffing across the Sodor Supension Bridge. Just then, Harold the Helicopter spawned out of nowhere & blew the fish off the flatbed. Thomas: AAUGH! Harold I hate you! Harold: Don't worry Thomas, I'll get it for you! Narrator: Just then, Tiger Moth came and chopped up the fish. Thomas: Nooooooo! Harold: Don't worry Thomas, I'll warn Sir Topham Hatt. Narrator: Then there was trouble! Harold hit the Suspension Bridge cables, and got stuck! Just then, the bridge began to collapse! Thomas raced off the bridge as fast as his wheels would carry him! Thomas: (sarcastically) Thank you Harold, you were a tremendous help. Harold: Glad to have helped Thomas. Narrator: All of a sudden, Gordon came thundering down the line with the express! Thomas: Are there not enough conflicts!? Narrator: No Thomas, there are never enough. Thomas: I've gotta find a way to stop Gordon before he falls off the bridge! Narrator: Duh. Thomas: Gordon! Slow down! Narrator: Just then, Gordon rose up into the air. Gordon: Don't worry Thomas, I'll make sure the orphans get to their new parents safely. Narrator: But Gordon didn't realize something, he was running out of water! Gordon plummeted into the ravine and exploded into a million pieces! Luckily no one was hurt, but all the orphans were dead. Thomas: Well, I guess they can't feel pain if they're dead. Narrator: Just then, The Fat Controller arrived on Winston. He was very cross. Sir Topham Hatt: Thomas, you have caused confusion & delay. The Suspension Bridge has collapsed, all the orphans are dead, but most importantly, the fish you were supposed to deliver to the Skarloey Railway has been sliced to bit's! Thomas: Okay first of all, none of that was even my fault. & second of all, why was i taking this fish to the Skarloey Railway? Sir Topham Hatt: I was hoping to kill Mr. Percival of course. Ya see we were playing Wii Sports Golf & he did really well against me and lost really badly. Thomas: Huh, I wonder how Percy's been doing with my coaches. (cuts to the carriage shed from "Daisy" at night) Henrietta: So, how was Percy? Clarabel: Dreadful. Annie: He wouldn't stop talking about his buffers on mine! Toby: I don't know, that sounds kinda fun. All: Shut up Toby! Narrator: And so, the day was wasted and everyone lived in mediocrity, including you for wasting your time with this dumb story! (The End) Category:Sudrian Sketches & Satires